I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
