Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
