and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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