just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
