I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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