then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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