i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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