I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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