I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize