is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
