"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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