Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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