its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
