I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
