it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
