yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
