I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
