I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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