is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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