Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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