When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
