I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
