The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize