Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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