a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
