hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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