just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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