Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
