the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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