I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
pray to the hookup gods
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
