Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
