That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize