Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
