Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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