i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
