i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize