awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
