im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
