Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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