I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
