Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's shark week go big or go home
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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