the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
