This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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