Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
