i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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