I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had sex on a roof
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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