so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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