I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
