Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
