a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
