i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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