You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
