I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize