so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
