Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
