Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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