I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
someone owes me an orgasm
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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