he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
