I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
