i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
