If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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