Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
