If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
