She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize