Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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