They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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