Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
