There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
