And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize