Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
