Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
