3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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