Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
