I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
