Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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