I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Randomize
