he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
