I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
