new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
