just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
