Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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