Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
